I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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