I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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