And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
