I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
