you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
