Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
