I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
