well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
