I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
