Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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