you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
