Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize