i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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