Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
