This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
