i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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