how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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