so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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