so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
