If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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