You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
