Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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(502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph

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(757): View more from Virginia

Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.

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(757): Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/ml9k

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(626): View more from California

you didnt know i had herpes?

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(626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph

Replies (104) Good night (1405) Bad night (37539) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy

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(217): So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy http://tfl.nu/9pzn

Replies (16) Good night (864) Bad night (4420)
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(317): View more from Indiana

sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

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(317): sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru". http://tfl.nu/gnr7

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(765): View more from Indiana

There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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(765): There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break. http://tfl.nu/iu19

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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(704): Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some. http://tfl.nu/ntfp

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4

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(419): View more from Ohio

On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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(419): On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire http://tfl.nu/uiq5

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(619): View more from California

I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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(619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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(636): I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph. http://tfl.nu/fo7j

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

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(414): ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco http://tfl.nu/xqa3

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?

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(973): I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/blls

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(406): View more from Montana

We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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(406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk

Replies (5) Good night (1731) Bad night (168)
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(425): View more from Washington

You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.

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(425): You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you. http://tfl.nu/vxkn

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