He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
