I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
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still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
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He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair