I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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