I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize