We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
