Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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