I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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