yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
