Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
