erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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