You just made me feel so damn special
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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