I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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