the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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