I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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