Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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