He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
