I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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