You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
