well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
