Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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