I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize