And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize