I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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