omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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