I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
