Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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