so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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