idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
