the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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