you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
