There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize