All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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