I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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