I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
third nipple confirmed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
we're so committed to being not committed
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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