sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
