do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
