Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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