Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
